Week 3 Notes –

Week #3 is upon us. My intent was to get slightly buzzed last night and put together some reasonably funny quips and ironic prognostication. Didn’t happen, sorry folks. You get the perfectly sober, 6:00 AM version of my random musings.

I’ll start with the battle of the undefeated…Lee vs. Kristina: Lee’s squad is one of the two or three in this league with two legitimate workhorse RBs. That is always a recipe for success and the oddsmakers at Yahoo feel the same. Everybody expects Lee to walk away with this one but I’ve got something really disgusting to try with Kristina tonight soooooooo Kristina rides the FitzMagic, sweeps the division and wins in a landslide while Lee cries in his serial “will the real Fitzpatrick please stand up?”

Next up, Josh vs. Dan: My memory seems to tell me that this matchup has been dominated by Dan over the years. Not this year. Josh might have finally drafted a championship caliber team. I mean don’t get me wrong, his team is definitely like the Island of Misfit Toys but he’s looking like an evil genius at the moment. The Bill Belichick of fantasy football? What are the odds that McCracken holds this team together and gets himself into the big game? Survey says 4-1. Not great, but better than most of the league. Josh wins this one running away.

I know its too early to be statistically significant but Jon and Jeff are currently the lowest scoring teams in the league and they are facing off this week. This is the 1992 Seahawks vs. 2010 Broncos. However, one of these teams is not like the other. I feel like Jon has just had some bad luck and his team will bounce back, probably starting this week. Sorry Jeff, but I’m feeling like following your team is going to be kind of like following the Seahawks this year. A pile of hope in one hand and… Jon’s team gets revved up this week and shoves Jeff down that lonely road…2016 Browns?

Andy vs. Lara: Playoffs? Don’t talk about – playoffs? You Kidding me? Playoffs? Hmm…how do I put this tactfully? Well, you see when a man loves a woman…wait, wrong speech. Losing, in a curious way, is winning. You see, when you learn from a loss you have not lost. And there will be lots of losing for these two teams this year. Or I could be completely wrong. Either way, Lara roars into the weekend a 69% favorite to win due to her TEs 1 point effort and Andy starting the lesser of the two Jets RBs on Thursday. Andy’s fate will rest in Brown and Jackson whipping up a scoring frenzy on Monday night which is completely possible. Too close to call. Lara in a photo finish.

David vs. Donnie: This matchup intrigues me. There are a lot of names here of players who have the ability to have big games. Lots of all or nothing guys. If the moons of Jupiter align this could be the highest scoring BFD ever. I think that Yahoo has underestimated the scoring potential in this one. It’s either going to be the most boring match up ever or a fantastic shoot out. Either way though, each of these two guys is too nice to take the win. Classic you first, no you first, oh lets just cross the line together. First tie of the season.

Jeramie vs. Gary in what is clearly the game of the week. Both teams come into this game winless. I think that both owners wrapped up draft day thinking WTF. “I’ll take Draft Day Quotes for $200 Alex.” “The answer is “uh, what the hell just happened? did I just shit myself?”” “Who is Jeramie? Alex” “You are correct Josh.” “I’ll take draft day quotes for $400 Alex.” The answer is “I feel like I just got tea bagged by a rhino with really bad hygiene” “Who is Gary? Alex” “Correct again Josh” “Alex, I’ll take BFD prognostication for $1000” “That’s today’s daily double. The answer is Gary and Jeramie.” “Ooh ooh ooh…I got this Alex.” *snickering* “who is taking sacks to the face in 2018?” “Ooooooh, that’s incorrect Josh. “Who will be circling the toilet bowl at the end of the season?” is what we were looking for.” “I know, but it was funny.” On to the outcome, Jeramie’s Dookie Porridge comes into the weekend with a lead due to the the sudden constitution of his Browns. Welcome to Browntown Gary! Jeramie just figured out what Brown can do for him and takes the win this week, likely his only one this season.

Enjoy week #3 y’all. I am going to savor every f’ing minute of it. Shout out to Redzone channel for making my fall Sundays so wonderful and so miserable at the same time.

Jon, you are on the hook for notes next week.

DP